Agree First - Then (And *Only* Then) Persuasuade

Agree First - Then (And *Only* Then) Persuasuade 
By Raman Bharadwaj

Have you ever noticed that it's nearly impossible to win an argument? 
That doesn't mean you can't persuade someone to move from their 
original view to your view. It's just that it probably won't happen 
as a result of an argument. The reason is that, while in 
the "argument" stage, the person will probably be too busy "defending 
their turf" to be able to step back and understand why your view is 
the more reasonable. Funny how that works, isn't it? :-) 

The key is to first, end the argument. 
How? 
By agreeing. 
Now don't get me wrong. You don't have to "sell out" to do this. 
However, there's always something within what they say where you can 
find agreement, even if it's just how they feel, or their right to 
have those feelings. 

Example: You arrive at the hotel much earlier than the usual check-in 
time. The person at the desk tells you that it's against company 
policy for guests to check in before the regular time of 12:00 noon. 
You could logically argue that, as long as a room has been cleaned, 
it shouldn't be any big deal. But, that would cause the employee to 
admit he's wrong. Most people have an ego that doesn't enjoy that 
feeling. 
Instead, agree with him: "Yes, I understand what you mean. It's hotel 
policy and that needs to be respected. I can appreciate that." 
You didn't argue with him. 
You agreed with him. 
Personally, I don't imagine he'll argue with that. 
What's he going to say? 
"No, you're wrong. I'm totally wrong about what I just told you." 
No, he's going to feel good about you, because you agreed with him. 
He's going to relax because he knows you are not being 
confrontational. 

Now, you can help him to "live in the solution" with your 
suggestion: "You know, I'm wondering. Just if it's not too much 
trouble, could you check to see if perhaps one of the rooms has 
already been cleaned. I think that's probably the reason for the 
rule, which would make a lot of sense." Then, I would add what I call 
the "Eight Key Words", which are, "If you can't do it, I'll 
definitely appreciate" 

More than likely, you'll get to check in early...and get one of the 
really good rooms. I can tell you that from personal experience.  

Remember, first agree. Then (and *only* then) persuade.