Sunday, February 28, 2010

Why Your Employees Are Losing Motivation

Why Your Employees Are Losing Motivation
by David Sirota, Louis A. Mischkind, and Michael Irwin Meltzer

Business literature is packed with advice about worker motivation—but sometimes managers are the problem, not the inspiration. Here are seven practices to fire up the troops. From Harvard Management Update.

Most companies have it all wrong. They don't have to motivate their employees. They have to stop demotivating them.

The great majority of employees are quite enthusiastic when they start a new job. But in about 85 percent of companies, our research finds, employees' morale sharply declines after their first six months—and continues to deteriorate for years afterward. That finding is based on surveys of about 1.2 million employees at 52 primarily Fortune 1000 companies from 2001 through 2004, conducted by Sirota Survey Intelligence (Purchase, New York).

The fault lies squarely at the feet of management—both the policies and procedures companies employ in managing their workforces and in the relationships that individual managers establish with their direct reports.

Our research shows how individual managers' behaviors and styles are contributing to the problem and what they can do to turn this around.

Three key goals of people at work
To maintain the enthusiasm employees bring to their jobs initially, management must understand the three sets of goals that the great majority of workers seek from their work—and then satisfy those goals:

  • Equity: To be respected and to be treated fairly in areas such as pay, benefits, and job security.
  • Achievement: To be proud of one's job, accomplishments, and employer.
  • Camaraderie: To have good, productive relationships with fellow employees.

To maintain an enthusiastic workforce, management must meet all three goals. Indeed, employees who work for companies where just one of these factors is missing are three times less enthusiastic than workers at companies where all elements are present.

One goal cannot be substituted for another. Improved recognition cannot replace better pay, money cannot substitute for taking pride in a job well done, and pride alone will not pay the mortgage.

What individual managers can do
Satisfying the three goals depends both on organizational policies and on the everyday practices of individual managers. If the company has a solid approach to talent management, a bad manager can undermine it in his unit. On the flip side, smart and empathetic managers can overcome a great deal of corporate mismanagement while creating enthusiasm and commitment within their units. While individual managers can't control all leadership decisions, they can still have a profound influence on employee motivation.

The most important thing is to provide employees with a sense of security, one in which they do not fear that their jobs will be in jeopardy if their performance is not perfect and one in which layoffs are considered an extreme last resort, not just another option for dealing with hard times.

But security is just the beginning. When handled properly, each of the following eight practices will play a key role in supporting your employees' goals for achievement, equity, and camaraderie, and will enable them to retain the enthusiasm they brought to their roles in the first place.

Achievement related
1. Instill an inspiring purpose.
A critical condition for employee enthusiasm is a clear, credible, and inspiring organizational purpose: in effect, a "reason for being" that translates for workers into a "reason for being there" that goes above and beyond money.

Every manager should be able to expressly state a strong purpose for his unit. What follows is one purpose statement we especially admire. It was developed by a three-person benefits group in a midsize firm.

Benefits are about people. It's not whether you have the forms filled in or whether the checks are written. It's whether the people are cared for when they're sick, helped when they're in trouble.
This statement is particularly impressive because it was composed in a small company devoid of high-powered executive attention and professional wordsmiths. It was created in the type of department normally known for its fixation on bureaucratic rules and procedures. It is a statement truly from the heart, with the focus in the right place: on the ends—people—rather than the means—completing forms.

Stating a mission is a powerful tool. But equally important is the manager's ability to explain and communicate to subordinates the reason behind the mission. Can the manager of stockroom workers do better than telling her staff that their mission is to keep the room stocked? Can she communicate the importance of the job, the people who are relying on the stockroom being properly maintained, both inside and outside the company? The importance for even goods that might be considered prosaic to be where they need to be when they need to be there? That manager will go a long way toward providing a sense of purpose.

2. Provide recognition. Managers should be certain that all employee contributions, both large and small, are recognized. The motto of many managers seems to be, "Why would I need to thank someone for doing something he's paid to do?" Workers repeatedly tell us, and with great feeling, how much they appreciate a compliment. They also report how distressed they are when managers don't take the time to thank them for a job well done yet are quick to criticize them for making mistakes.

Receiving recognition for achievements is one of the most fundamental human needs. Rather than making employees complacent, recognition reinforces their accomplishments, helping ensure there will be more of them.

A pat on the back, simply saying "good going," a dinner for two, a note about their good work to senior executives, some schedule flexibility, a paid day off, or even a flower on a desk with a thank-you note are a few of the hundreds of ways managers can show their appreciation for good work. It works wonders if this is sincere, sensitively done, and undergirded by fair and competitive pay—and not considered a substitute for it.

3. Be an expediter for your employees. Incorporating a command-and-control style is a sure-fire path to demotivation. Instead, redefine your primary role as serving as your employees' expediter: It is your job to facilitate getting their jobs done. Your reports are, in this sense, your "customers." Your role as an expediter involves a range of activities, including serving as a linchpin to other business units and managerial levels to represent their best interests and ensure your people get what they need to succeed.

How do you know, beyond what's obvious, what is most important to your employees for getting their jobs done? Ask them! "Lunch and schmooze" sessions with employees are particularly helpful for doing this. And if, for whatever reason, you can't immediately address a particular need or request, be open about it and then let your workers know how you're progressing at resolving their problems. This is a great way to build trust.

4. Coach your employees for improvement. A major reason so many managers do not assist subordinates in improving their performance is, simply, that they don't know how to do this without irritating or discouraging them. A few basic principles will improve this substantially.

First and foremost, employees whose overall performance is satisfactory should be made aware of that. It is easier for employees to accept, and welcome, feedback for improvement if they know management is basically pleased with what they do and is helping them do it even better.

Space limitations prevent a full treatment of the subject of giving meaningful feedback, of which recognition is a central part, but these key points should be the basis of any feedback plan:

  • Performance feedback is not the same as an annual appraisal. Give actual performance feedback as close in time to the occurrence as possible. Use the formal annual appraisal to summarize the year, not surprise the worker with past wrongs.
  • Recognize that workers want to know when they have done poorly. Don't succumb to the fear of giving appropriate criticism; your workers need to know when they are not performing well. At the same time, don't forget to give positive feedback. It is, after all, your goal to create a team that warrants praise.
  • Comments concerning desired improvements should be specific, factual, unemotional, and directed at performance rather than at employees personally. Avoid making overall evaluative remarks (such as, "That work was shoddy") or comments about employees' personalities or motives (such as, "You've been careless"). Instead, provide specific, concrete details about what you feel needs to be improved and how.
  • Keep the feedback relevant to the employee's role. Don't let your comments wander to anything not directly tied to the tasks at hand.
  • Listen to employees for their views of problems. Employees' experience and observations often are helpful in determining how performance issues can be best dealt with, including how you can be most helpful.
  • Remember the reason you're giving feedback—you want to improve performance, not prove your superiority. So keep it real, and focus on what is actually doable without demanding the impossible.
  • Follow up and reinforce. Praise improvement or engage in course correction—while praising the effort—as quickly as possible.
  • Don't offer feedback about something you know nothing about. Get someone who knows the situation to look at it.


Equity related
5. Communicate fully.
One of the most counterproductive rules in business is to distribute information on the basis of "need to know." It is usually a way of severely, unnecessarily, and destructively restricting the flow of information in an organization. Workers' frustration
with an absence of adequate communication is one of the most negative findings we see expressed on employee attitude surveys. What employees need to do their jobs and what makes them feel respected and included dictate that very few restrictions be placed by managers on the flow of information. Hold nothing back of interest to employees except those very few items that are absolutely confidential.

Good communication requires managers to be attuned to what employees want and need to know; the best way to do this is to ask them! Most managers must discipline themselves to communicate regularly. Often it's not a natural instinct. Schedule regular employee meetings that have no purpose other than two-way communication. Meetings among management should conclude with a specific plan for communicating the results of the meetings to employees. And tell it like it is. Many employees are quite skeptical about management's motives and can quickly see through "spin." Get continual feedback on how well you and the company are communicating. One of the biggest communication problems is the assumption that a message has been understood. Follow-up often finds that messages are unclear or misunderstood.

Companies and managers that communicate in the ways we describe reap large gains in employee morale. Full and open communication not only helps employees do their jobs but also is a powerful sign of respect.

6. Face up to poor performance. Identify and deal decisively with the 5 percent of your employees who don't want to work. Most people want to work and be proud of what they do (the achievement need). But there are employees who are, in effect, "allergic" to work—they'll do just about anything to avoid it. They are unmotivated, and a disciplinary approach—including dismissal—is about the only way they can be managed. It will raise the morale and performance of other team members to see an obstacle to their performance removed.

Camaraderie related
7. Promote teamwork.
Most work requires a team effort in order to be done effectively. Research shows repeatedly that the quality of a group's efforts in areas such as problem solving is usually superior to that of individuals working on their own. In addition, most workers get a motivation boost from working in teams.

Whenever possible, managers should organize employees into self-managed teams, with the teams having authority over matters such as quality control, scheduling, and many work methods. Such teams require less management and normally result in a healthy reduction in management layers and costs.

Creating teams has as much to do with camaraderie as core competences. A manager needs to carefully assess who works best with whom. At the same time, it is important to create the opportunity for cross-learning and diversity of ideas, methods, and approaches. Be clear with the new team about its role, how it will operate, and your expectations for its output.

Related to all three factors
8. Listen and involve.
Employees are a rich source of information about how to do a job and how to do it better. This principle has been demonstrated time and again with all kinds of employees—from hourly workers doing the most routine tasks to high-ranking professionals. Managers who operate with a participative style reap enormous rewards in efficiency and work quality.

Participative managers continually announce their interest in employees' ideas. They do not wait for these suggestions to materialize through formal upward communication or suggestion programs. They find opportunities to have direct conversations with individuals and groups about what can be done to improve effectiveness. They create an atmosphere where "the past is not good enough" and recognize employees for their innovativeness.

Participative managers, once they have defined task boundaries, give employees freedom to operate and make changes on their own commensurate with their knowledge and experience. Indeed, there may be no single motivational tactic more powerful than freeing competent people to do their jobs as they see fit.
[David Sirota is chairman emeritus, Louis A. Mischkind is senior vice president, and Michael Irwin Meltzer is chief operating officer of Sirota Survey Intelligence. They are the authors of The Enthusiastic Employee: How Companies Profit by Giving Workers What They Want (Wharton School Publishing, 2005).]

The Power of a Group

You are the leader of your team, your department or your organisation.
Maybe you are the owner and amongst you all, no one can do the job; run
the place, like you do. We all know that and have been there.

It's tough because someone has to do it.

In fact it's a struggle and because you are building something
worthwhile, someone once told you that you don't get anywhere without
hard work.

Period; full stop; whatever.

In fact there is a lot of research now that shows you are wrong. Not
just a bit wrong. Horribly wrong. In 'The Wisdom of Crowds' by Robert
Surowiecki, he quotes a number of sources of information. Like, if you
compare the performance of a team of experts with a team of half
experts and half not experts, which gives the best results?

It's the second one.

If you have a bunch of people working on a problem will they find a
better solution than just one person. They will. In fact as long as
they have the following attributes
Diversity of Opinion - each has their own private information
Independence - from other decision makers
Decentralisation - can take into account local (and hence diverse from
the big picture)
Aggregation - the capacity to bring together all this variety of
opinion
A crowd will always generate the best result - even if they are
disparate and not connected in any way!

So, how can you go about getting the best from a group of your people,
to enhance what you do?

The findings that Surowiecki brought up are no different in your
business and organisation than the many examples he shares. Such as
elections, marketing, gambling etc.

There are dozens in the book. Yet, how many organisations truly involve
their people in making vital decisions about how the business can do
better?

So, as a starter for 10, try asking them.

Next time you face a problem or challenge in your business, gather a
group of people - as random a group as possible and give them these
three tools and let them get on with it.

Ensure that they are different, empowered and encouraged to contribute.
>From the evidence from Surowiecki's book, your people are almost
definitely going to produce a better result than you alone ever could.
Then you have to go with that flow.

Remember they must generate a solution that works, that doesn't
generate new problems and is cost-effective. If you give them their
head, it is almost a given that they will do just that.

The challenge for you is not whether they will do well; more that you
are willing to let up your own control and give them the opportunity to
test their solution.

And that's a big ask for you - not them.

The book is a worthy read too!

Making it Happen

How frustrating is it when things progress slowly?

When you end up coming back to people and they haven't got on with
things like you expected.

And sometimes it seems to be the same people who you have this problem
with.

'Making it Happen' is a simple tactic to ensure that progress on a
topic is made clearly, quickly and precisely.

Ken Blanchard has a great little (and as always, easy to read) book
called 'The One Minute Manager meets the Monkey'. Today's newsletter is
all about the 'monkey'.

By ensuring that there is always a 'next step' in any discussion, issue
or problem, which is clearly defined, owned by someone and timescaled,
you will be much more likely to have progression.

So what is this 'next step' and how does a monkey fit into all this?

Well, the 'next step' is some actual piece of activity that someone
(and it is best if it isn't you! I'll come on to that later), takes
accountability for delivering, demonstrably and in a certain timescale.

If you've come across SMART objectives, it's along those lines and very
tactical. It happens and happens fast - usually.

This 'next step' in a process, means that things keep moving and
someone is signed up to the progress by doing the next link towards the
final outcome. Think of it as a monkey jumping from each person's
shoulder to the next. The 'doer' takes the monkey with them - and you
ensure that it isn't usually you!

By keeping this as the goal, step by relevant next step, the overall
outcome is achieved.

Who is the 'doer'? Well, that depends on who is best placed to do the
doing! In developmental management and team cultures, as many
individuals as possible get involved in taking the 'next step'
(carrying off the monkey!).

Whilst it is easy for a manager to take the brunt of these, it is very
useful to help others take these 'next steps, even if they are not
experts in that area of their work.

Using 'next steps' as a developmental exercise can be very valuable for
individuals who want to stretch their experience and develop their
capabilities.

Without just 'dropping them in it', by providing ongoing support,
whilst giving them the accountability to deliver (a strong learning in
itself), a manager can evolve a highly skilled and broadly experienced
team around who will enable continuity when times get tough.

And a succession planning process which evolves without too much
effort.

Things get done, people get developed, the manager delegates
effectively, making the best of his or her time.

Now how great a solution is that then!

Martin Haworth
http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com

The Sandwiched Generation

By N Sriram

If you are between 30 and 45, with ageing parents and a young child or children to look after, well, you belong to the sandwiched generation. You need to tackle the health concerns of the aged and provide for the expenses of children. Is there something unique about this? Yes. Take the older generation that has retired, first. A larger part of their career was spent in the pre-liberalisation era when salaries were measly compared to present day levels. They paid much higher taxes. Sure, they earned high and assured returns too on deposits and small saving plans, but these were on relatively smaller savings, and so it did not matter much.

Luckily, they didn't spend much. Choices were fewer and cheaper. Even the IITs charged only a few hundred rupees a year to impart world-class engineering skills.

Above all, the older generation had one great comfort. They could take for granted that their children would take care of them in their sunset years. They may live independently and possibly away from their children, even in old age homes, but in general, their children provide for their financial needs, and more certainly for financial emergencies.

Now think of your children in schools. You must be spending on them in a year what your parents spent on you in a decade or more. More is yet to come. It is now possible for even average Indian students to seek admission to universities abroad, which lead to better job prospects. But it costs a lot more. Even if your child goes for an education loan from a bank, you may have to set aside a huge sum as collateral for it.

And after all this, do you seriously expect your children to look after you when you grow old? You would rather not include any contribution from your children while planning for retirement, right? They would probably be living in some distant part of the planet and leading such busy lives that to expect them to visit you even in emergencies would be a fantasy. Values too would have changed, and your children may not feel their obligation towards you as strongly as you feel towards your parents.

Do you understand the predicament of the sandwiched generation now? You spend on the elders. You spend a fortune on the younger dependants but it is unlikely that they would be in a position to return the favour when you grow old. You are unlikely to figure in their retirement plans and are unlikely to get the financial care that you gave your parents.

Your retirement plan should reflect this reality about dependants. Here are a few broad guidelines:
Seek health risk covers for elders: If you don't have health insurance covers for your parents or other elder dependents at home, go for one straight away. Even a 65-year-old person can get a cover of up to Rs 5 lakh with a premium ranging from Rs 9,000 to Rs 13,000 with a host of health insurance firms. Explore all the available covers and go for one or more. Never mind if your parents are fighting fit now. Health concerns may arise suddenly and before you know it, your kitty could be depleted.

Separate savings for education and retirement: Get a fix on your child's future education expenses. Include all possible costs - peripheral expenses like fees for coaching classes, books, computers, boarding expenses to prepare for competitive exams, fees for professional courses, and the big daddy expense of them all - expenses for overseas education. You might explore child plans of insurance companies. You could also start saving systematically in mutual funds after consulting a financial planner. Encourage financially responsible behaviour in your children. That would prove invaluable.

Plan wealth transfers: You might be too embarrassed to talk to your parents about any idle wealth they are holding, like a property held for sentimental reasons in a distant town, and use it to strengthen the family finances. But what you should surely do is decide how much inheritance you would like to leave for your children.

You should also think in terms of newer expenses that you might incur on your children. For example, you may not have to spend a huge sum on your daughter's marriage - she may desire a simple civil wedding - but you may have to set aside a start-up fund for her if she wants to set up a business of her own.

Finally, find answers within yourself for a few uncomfortable questions about dependants. Like, how much would you be willing to spare out of your retirement kitty for your children's education or other expenses, if expenses go way beyond your estimates and savings? If your parents' health concerns threaten to wreck your plans for your own retirement or children's education, which way would you tilt? There are no textbook answers to these questions. Your answer should be in proportion to your commitment to your dependants.

Focal Points
Health concerns of elders and education expenses of children could pose serious challenges to your financial plans

Elders earned low incomes and had fewer choices to spend on, but they had the comfort that they could depend on you for financial needs and emergencies

You would spend a fortune in educating your children but you cannot possibly expect them to care as much for you as you have cared for your parents. Values have changed. There may also be locational hurdles

What an Executive Coach Can Do for You

What an Executive Coach Can Do for You
by Paul Michelman

Do you need an executive coach? Do your managers? Here is a useful framework for thinking about the role of coaching, from Harvard Management Update.

Is executive coaching at U.S. companies destined to play a role occupied by psychoanalysis in some Neil Simon version of Hollywood: a virtual prerequisite for anyone who aspires to be anyone?

It might seem that way at some organizations, at least to the untrained eye. IBM has more than sixty certified coaches among its ranks. Scores of other major companies have made coaching a core part of executive development. The belief is that, under the right circumstances, one-on-one interaction with an objective third party can provide a focus that other forms of organizational support simply cannot.

And whereas coaching was once viewed by many as a tool to help correct underperformance, today it is becoming much more widely used in supporting top producers. In fact, in a 2004 survey by Right Management Consultants (Philadelphia), 86 percent of companies said they used coaching to sharpen the skills of individuals who have been identified as future organizational leaders.

"Coaching has evolved into the mainstream fast," says Michael Goldberg, president of Building Blocks Consulting (Manalapan, New Jersey), whose clients include New York Life and MetLife. "This is because there is a great demand in the workplace for immediate results, and coaching can help provide that." How? By providing feedback and guidance in real time, says Brian Underhill, a senior consultant at the Alliance for Strategic Leadership (Morgan Hill, California). "Coaching develops leaders in the context of their current jobs, without removing them from their day-to-day responsibilities."

At an even more basic level, many executives simply benefit from receiving any feedback at all. "As individuals advance to the executive level, development feedback becomes increasingly important, more infrequent, and more unreliable," notes Anna Maravelas, a St. Paul, Minnesota-based executive coach and founder of TheraRising. As a result, she says, "Many executives plateau in critical interpersonal and leadership skills."

So, should you have a coach? And which managers in your sphere of responsibility might benefit from working with an outsider to help sharpen skills and overcome hurdles to better performance?

The right approach to answering these questions still varies a great deal depending on whom you ask, but input from several dozen coaches, and executives who have undergone coaching, does provide a useful framework for how to think about the role of coaching.

The road to coaching runs two ways
Although both the organization and the executive must be committed to coaching for it to be successful, the idea to engage a coach can originate from either HR and leadership development professionals or from executives themselves. In the past, it has more often sprung from the organizational side. But given the growing track record of coaching as a tool for fast movers, "We see more executives choosing coaching as a proactive component of their professional life," says Cheryl Leitschuh, a leadership development consultant with RSM McGladrey (Bloomington, Minnesota).

Executive coaching is not an end in itself
In spite of its apparently robust potential, the very act of taking on a coach will not help advance your career. In other words, don't seek coaching just because other fast movers in the firm seem to be benefiting from it.

Coaching is effective for executives who can say, "I want to get over there, but I'm not sure how to do it," says James Hunt, an associate professor of management at Babson College and coauthor of The Coaching Manager (Sage Publications, 2002). "Coaching works best when you know what you want to get done." Perhaps, in spite of your outstanding track record, you haven't yet gained the full interpersonal dexterity required of senior managers—for example, you're not yet a black belt in the art of influence, which is so important in the modern networked organization. Honing such a skill might be an appropriate goal for a coaching assignment.

But simply having a clear purpose won't guarantee coaching value, says Michael Goldberg. "You have to be open to feedback and willing to create positive change. If not, coaching may not be the answer."

There are certain times when executives are most likely to benefit from coaching. Executives should seek coaching "when they feel that a change in behavior—either for themselves or their team members—can make a significant difference in the long-term success of the organization," says Marshall Goldsmith, a high-profile executive coach and author of eighteen books, including The Leader of the Future (Jossey-Bass, 1996).

More specifically, the experts say, coaching can be particularly effective in times of change for an executive. That includes promotions, stretch assignments, and other new challenges. While you may be confident in your abilities to take on new tasks, you may feel that an independent sounding board would be beneficial in helping you achieve a new level of performance, especially if close confidants are now reporting to you. More so, you may recognize that succeeding in a new role requires skills that you have not needed to rely on in the past; a coach may help sharpen those skills, particularly when you need to do so on the fly.

But coaching is not just for tackling new assignments. It can also play an invigorating role. Coaches can help executives "develop new ways to attack old problems," says Vicky Gordon, CEO of the Gordon Group coaching practice in Chicago. "When efforts to change yourself, your team, or your company have failed—you are frustrated or burned out—a coach can be the outside expert to help you get to the root cause and make fundamental changes."

One increasingly common use of coaching for senior executives focuses on the challenges of managing younger workers, and on helping executives better understand and lead a new generation of employees whose work ethics and values are different, says Stephen Fairley, president of Chicago-based Today's Leadership Coaching and coauthor of Getting Started in Personal and Executive Coaching (Wiley, 2003).

Coaching engagements should be part of a larger initiative
"Coaching works when it's systematic," says Babson's Hunt, and many organizations use coaching as an integrated part of a larger leadership development program. Increasingly, firms incorporate "360-degree" feedback, using the results to indicate areas in which an executive might benefit from working with a coach. Has your feedback revealed an area in which you would like to improve? Is it a skill you need to refine in order to advance through the organization? Would you benefit from an outside perspective? The answers to these questions help gauge the potential value of coaching.

Coaching can provide benefits not available elsewhere
"One of the big benefits of a coach is that they aren't tied to the organization, your friends, or anyone else," says Washington, D.C.-based executive coach Linda Finkle. "They are tied to you only, so they support what you want and where you want to go.

"Even our families, who want the best for us, can't be unbiased or totally objective. What you do or do not do impacts them, whether it's positive or negative. A coach is not impacted by your decisions, your wins or losses, or anything else."

As Finkle notes, this doesn't mean that company goals aren't supported by coaching—indeed, the coach was most likely hired by the company to support the executive's efforts to achieve those goals. Even so, the role of the coach is not to represent specific company needs or interests. "The perspectives they provide, the alternatives discussed, and everything else has no agenda except to support the coachee," she says.

For better or worse, many executives can't find this type of conversation partner—what Harvard Business School professor Thomas DeLong calls a "truth speaker"—elsewhere in their companies.

Paul Michelman is the editor of Harvard Management Update.


Building the Trust in Your People - 12 Easy Tips

Building trust with those you work with, especially if you manage them,
is vital. There are a few things that are vital that you get clear on -
they are not challenging, but they are important and will require that
you stick to these rules - or run the risk of damaging the
relationships that you work so hard to create...

In Stephen Covey's great book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People", he talks about the 'emotional bank account', where you have to
build a credit in your relationship with the individuals who you work
with (and everyone else as well!).

If what you do isn't 'trustworthy', then all you have done in your
gentle listening and asking great and interested questions to build, is
to 'debit' your account. And if you do more of this than the credit you
build, then you will never get your folks on your side. But what is
trust?

You can't invest more wisely than by listening fully to what interests
the person you are in conversation with. So, ask more questions about
what they tell you. Easy as that - it's a simple tool, but really
builds trust too. Here are a few other things which generate their
trust in you:-

1. Tell the Truth

Sounds simple, yet often it is done without thinking. On busy days what
you say does get taken in, yet you forget. Don't! People hang on what
you say - so it must be the truth!

2. Keep Promises (or don't make them)

A biggy this. What you say holds a far greater importance to the person
you say it to than maybe you, who say so much stuff all day long. If
you say you will do something for someone, then do it - or don't say
you will.

3. Follow Through on What you SayYou Will Do

And separate from promises. Actions. Your people look on you to
facilitate their delivery of the business. You can smooth things out,
make things happen, provide resources. So if you say you are going to
fix things, then please do it! Hey, even more, do a little more!

4. Don't be Interrupted

Give yourself fully in a conversation When you are talking with your
people make sure you give them full attention and the courtesy of
enough time. Put them first not second (or even third). Switch your
phone or pager off. Put off other interruptions.

5. Be fair to all

By ensuring that you treat all of your people the same, you will build
their trust hugely. It is a sense of sharing and caring that comes from
everyone, even you, being equal in an emotional sense, so building a
common bond.

6. Have No Favorites

You need to be disciplined enough that you have no closer 'friends'
than everyone. If you treat some people more 'equally' than others, it
sure gets noticed, creates divisions and loses that pulling together
which you need.

7. Be Consistent

Your folks get twitchy if you are erratic in your behaviour and
attitudes. By modifying your behaviours to be consistent (and if you
aren't have someone tell you).

8. Stick to Your Own Rules - Model Behaviours

And in the thing about consistency and fairness and no favourites,
remember you. You cannot be different. You cannot afford to behave in a
way that shows favouritism to yourself.

9. Understand the Value of Mistakes

Your people who you want onside need to be nurtured and cared for.
Encouraged and engaged. It needs you to be able to relieve their fear
of getting things wrong. Your people can make mistakes. It's OK! Then
you will get them experimenting and trying stuff - all of which will be
generating great solutions. Let them!

10. Realise What's Important to Others

People always have things which are important to them - and it isn't
always their work! So find out what it is and honour that - it builds
their trust in you, because you value them.

11. Face People with Issues Rather Than Tell Others

If you have issues or problems with people, be honest with them and let
them know. It's about what they do and not about them as people - but
be honest enough to work with them and not talk about them behind their
back.

12. Let Go Sometimes

Trust them to do their best Your people try their best - by
acknowledging them for this, they will trust you more and more.

Building trust is not only the most valuable thing that you can do with
your people, but it is the most important thing that you must do.

Martin Haworth
http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com

Building the Trust in Your People - 12 Easy Tips

Building trust with those you work with, especially if you manage them,
is vital. There are a few things that are vital that you get clear on -
they are not challenging, but they are important and will require that
you stick to these rules - or run the risk of damaging the
relationships that you work so hard to create...

In Stephen Covey's great book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People", he talks about the 'emotional bank account', where you have to
build a credit in your relationship with the individuals who you work
with (and everyone else as well!).

If what you do isn't 'trustworthy', then all you have done in your
gentle listening and asking great and interested questions to build, is
to 'debit' your account. And if you do more of this than the credit you
build, then you will never get your folks on your side. But what is
trust?

You can't invest more wisely than by listening fully to what interests
the person you are in conversation with. So, ask more questions about
what they tell you. Easy as that - it's a simple tool, but really
builds trust too. Here are a few other things which generate their
trust in you:-

1. Tell the Truth

Sounds simple, yet often it is done without thinking. On busy days what
you say does get taken in, yet you forget. Don't! People hang on what
you say - so it must be the truth!

2. Keep Promises (or don't make them)

A biggy this. What you say holds a far greater importance to the person
you say it to than maybe you, who say so much stuff all day long. If
you say you will do something for someone, then do it - or don't say
you will.

3. Follow Through on What you SayYou Will Do

And separate from promises. Actions. Your people look on you to
facilitate their delivery of the business. You can smooth things out,
make things happen, provide resources. So if you say you are going to
fix things, then please do it! Hey, even more, do a little more!

4. Don't be Interrupted

Give yourself fully in a conversation When you are talking with your
people make sure you give them full attention and the courtesy of
enough time. Put them first not second (or even third). Switch your
phone or pager off. Put off other interruptions.

5. Be fair to all

By ensuring that you treat all of your people the same, you will build
their trust hugely. It is a sense of sharing and caring that comes from
everyone, even you, being equal in an emotional sense, so building a
common bond.

6. Have No Favorites

You need to be disciplined enough that you have no closer 'friends'
than everyone. If you treat some people more 'equally' than others, it
sure gets noticed, creates divisions and loses that pulling together
which you need.

7. Be Consistent

Your folks get twitchy if you are erratic in your behaviour and
attitudes. By modifying your behaviours to be consistent (and if you
aren't have someone tell you).

8. Stick to Your Own Rules - Model Behaviours

And in the thing about consistency and fairness and no favourites,
remember you. You cannot be different. You cannot afford to behave in a
way that shows favouritism to yourself.

9. Understand the Value of Mistakes

Your people who you want onside need to be nurtured and cared for.
Encouraged and engaged. It needs you to be able to relieve their fear
of getting things wrong. Your people can make mistakes. It's OK! Then
you will get them experimenting and trying stuff - all of which will be
generating great solutions. Let them!

10. Realise What's Important to Others

People always have things which are important to them - and it isn't
always their work! So find out what it is and honour that - it builds
their trust in you, because you value them.

11. Face People with Issues Rather Than Tell Others

If you have issues or problems with people, be honest with them and let
them know. It's about what they do and not about them as people - but
be honest enough to work with them and not talk about them behind their
back.

12. Let Go Sometimes

Trust them to do their best Your people try their best - by
acknowledging them for this, they will trust you more and more.

Building trust is not only the most valuable thing that you can do with
your people, but it is the most important thing that you must do.

Martin Haworth
http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com

Dealing with pain may not be a Traumatic experience

By Humra Qureshi
Source:- Times of India
Date:- 10.01.2006

I am saddened when I come across haggard-looking men queuing up outside liquor outlets. In autumn 2005, I was in Kashmir and despaired as men with thin arms clutched bottles, to drown their sorrow in the amber liquid.

It was their escape hatch, albeit a temporary one. Why can't we endure pain? There is no way one can avoid feeling pain in the course of one's life.

So why not accept it gracefully when it comes? It could be pain stemming from separation — maybe the death of a loved one — or injustice you experience at work or home.

When faced with an emotionally draining situation, it is indeed difficult to say: "I shall endure this; I don't need an escape tool". But we've got to try.

Mourning, weeping, brooding... these are normal expressions of pain and are part of the coping process. However, these should not be carried to extreme or for too long, and definitely not with 'drowning in drinks' sessions.

For it is only endurance that takes you away, broadening your perspective and impelling you towards infinite horizons.

Kahlil Gibran wrote:
" Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that
its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain
And could you keep your heart in wonder at
the daily miracles of your life, your pain would
not seem less wondrous than your joy
And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that
pass over your fields
And you would watch with serenity through
the winters of your grief..."

Normally, families and societies do not encourage people to talk about grief.

Indian families tend to talk about what is to be cooked and for whom, what clothes to wear and so on, skirting the issue of sadness that looms large, unacknowledged.

Children are protected from exposure to sadness and suffering; they are brought up to believe that it's "roses all the way". When thorns emerge many find that they are unable to deal with it. The weak succumb to pain.

They don't know how to brace themselves for it. Vulnerable, they get sucked into escapist activity — distractions that might do them more harm than good. Distractions that can last only till the following morning or till they run out of resources.

Feel the pain, recognise it, deal with it as another part of life. Then it will touch your core and help you navigate life's ups and downs.

A painful episode in your life could serve as a turning point that made you see the positive side with greater appreciation.

Gibran equates the endurance of pain to healing of that very pain: "It is the bitter potion by which the physician/ within you heals your sick self./

Therefore trust the physician and drink his/ remedy in silence and tranquillity/ For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen..." The next time you're faced with pain, look pain in the eye.

Endure it. Don't try to "drink it away". Talk about it, discuss it with family and friends. Don't bottle it. Reach out and let others reach out to you in times of distress.