is vital. There are a few things that are vital that you get clear on -
they are not challenging, but they are important and will require that
you stick to these rules - or run the risk of damaging the
relationships that you work so hard to create...
In Stephen Covey's great book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People", he talks about the 'emotional bank account', where you have to
build a credit in your relationship with the individuals who you work
with (and everyone else as well!).
If what you do isn't 'trustworthy', then all you have done in your
gentle listening and asking great and interested questions to build, is
to 'debit' your account. And if you do more of this than the credit you
build, then you will never get your folks on your side. But what is
trust?
You can't invest more wisely than by listening fully to what interests
the person you are in conversation with. So, ask more questions about
what they tell you. Easy as that - it's a simple tool, but really
builds trust too. Here are a few other things which generate their
trust in you:-
1. Tell the Truth
Sounds simple, yet often it is done without thinking. On busy days what
you say does get taken in, yet you forget. Don't! People hang on what
you say - so it must be the truth!
2. Keep Promises (or don't make them)
A biggy this. What you say holds a far greater importance to the person
you say it to than maybe you, who say so much stuff all day long. If
you say you will do something for someone, then do it - or don't say
you will.
3. Follow Through on What you SayYou Will Do
And separate from promises. Actions. Your people look on you to
facilitate their delivery of the business. You can smooth things out,
make things happen, provide resources. So if you say you are going to
fix things, then please do it! Hey, even more, do a little more!
4. Don't be Interrupted
Give yourself fully in a conversation When you are talking with your
people make sure you give them full attention and the courtesy of
enough time. Put them first not second (or even third). Switch your
phone or pager off. Put off other interruptions.
5. Be fair to all
By ensuring that you treat all of your people the same, you will build
their trust hugely. It is a sense of sharing and caring that comes from
everyone, even you, being equal in an emotional sense, so building a
common bond.
6. Have No Favorites
You need to be disciplined enough that you have no closer 'friends'
than everyone. If you treat some people more 'equally' than others, it
sure gets noticed, creates divisions and loses that pulling together
which you need.
7. Be Consistent
Your folks get twitchy if you are erratic in your behaviour and
attitudes. By modifying your behaviours to be consistent (and if you
aren't have someone tell you).
8. Stick to Your Own Rules - Model Behaviours
And in the thing about consistency and fairness and no favourites,
remember you. You cannot be different. You cannot afford to behave in a
way that shows favouritism to yourself.
9. Understand the Value of Mistakes
Your people who you want onside need to be nurtured and cared for.
Encouraged and engaged. It needs you to be able to relieve their fear
of getting things wrong. Your people can make mistakes. It's OK! Then
you will get them experimenting and trying stuff - all of which will be
generating great solutions. Let them!
10. Realise What's Important to Others
People always have things which are important to them - and it isn't
always their work! So find out what it is and honour that - it builds
their trust in you, because you value them.
11. Face People with Issues Rather Than Tell Others
If you have issues or problems with people, be honest with them and let
them know. It's about what they do and not about them as people - but
be honest enough to work with them and not talk about them behind their
back.
12. Let Go Sometimes
Trust them to do their best Your people try their best - by
acknowledging them for this, they will trust you more and more.
Building trust is not only the most valuable thing that you can do with
your people, but it is the most important thing that you must do.
Martin Haworth
http://www.coaching-
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