How to Hold Crucial Conversations in Virtual Teams

How to Hold Crucial Conversations in Virtual Teams

by Joseph Grenny

In today's well-connected world, technology has made communication nearly instantaneous, incredibly convenient and enormously accessible. But it may not have made us better communicators.

There are parameters by which we must carefully monitor our method of communication to ensure it appropriately matches our message - especially when one considers many people are already far too savvy at finding ways to avoid face-to-face crucial conversations.

Follow these seven tips to hold effective conversations with virtual teammates whose specialty, culture and physical location may make it difficult to speak freely and clearly.

1. When stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong, never let e-mail replace talking.

Complex topics deserve real-time, two-way communication. Find a way to talk via webcam, Skype or another resource that allows for face-to-face virtual communication. The next best option is to talk on the phone. Don't let the ease of sending e-mails replace genuine dialogue.

2. Listen for hesitance.

As we talk across virtual mediums and different cultures, certain individuals may feel reticent to honestly express their differing views. One may ask for feedback, but others will remain silent because they worry about looking impertinent - and quickly a bad idea may be implemented. A minor pause or faint praise for an idea should sound an alarm that others don't agree but aren't speaking their minds. Pay close attention to spaces between responses.

3. Choose tentative language and soften tone of voice.

Express views firmly, but soften the blow with a curious tone and tentative language. When the voice is the only cue others have to read, it's even more important to monitor delivery. Realize that the more a person cares about his or her position, the more that person will oversell his or her stance, speak in absolutes and use debate tactics to win. This overzealous presentation will cause others to resist the idea. Be curious to learn, not anxious to convince.

4. Share concerns.

After making a suggestion, explain if there is any concern that ideas presented may not be understood or easily implemented in different divisions or parts of the world. Ask for feedback and let people know that initial ideas may need to be reshaped as they encounter different cultures or locations. Count on others to help direct expressed views.

5. Invite differing views.

After sharing a specific view, conclude by openly inviting different opinions. Ask, "What might I have missed here?" and "What do we need to do differently to make this work for you?"

6. Play devil's advocate.

To make it safe for others to honestly express their opposing views, argue both sides of an issue. Express views and then tentatively share concerns. "I think the idea will work, but worry about it taking too long and costing too much." Addressing both sides of an issue makes it clear that it's OK to raise issues and opens the door to honest criticism.

7. Allow time.

Communication may be instantaneous, but allow teammates time to process a message beyond what might be normal in a face-to-face interaction. Know that in some cultures, any quick response to a suggestion is considered immature. People believe it's important to hear a proposal and then review it with their team before responding. When presenting controversial topics or proposals, ask people to report back in a few days. This gives people the opportunity to work on how they express their views and, if language is an issue, to make the necessary translations.

Remember, when the goal is to reach a shared understanding, physical, emotional or intellectual distance call for careful and honest dialogue.

[About the Author: Joseph Grenny is co-founder of VitalSmarts and the author of Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations and Influencer.]